ROAD CAPTAIN TRACKER

Live intelligence on all three Road Captains. Updated by Command when intel comes in.

CLASSIFIED

DUKIS WILLABE

ROAD CAPTAIN — 1% PATCH HOLDER

LAST KNOWN LOCATION

Unknown

CURRENT ACTIVITY

Undisclosed

Intel filed: 2026-04-19 18:48

ON PATROL

MURPHY

ROAD CAPTAIN — 1% PATCH HOLDER

LAST KNOWN LOCATION

The Park

CURRENT ACTIVITY

Conducting a full perimeter sniff

Intel filed: 2026-04-19 18:48

NAPPING

TOBY

ROAD CAPTAIN — 1% PATCH HOLDER

LAST KNOWN LOCATION

The Couch

CURRENT ACTIVITY

Deep cover recon (sleeping)

Intel filed: 2026-04-19 18:48

// Load Murphy's current status $murphy_data = ['location' => '', 'activity' => '', 'status' => 'ON PATROL', 'updated' => '']; $murphy_file = 'data/murphy_location.txt'; if (file_exists($murphy_file)) { $raw = trim(file_get_contents($murphy_file)); if (!empty($raw)) { foreach (explode('|', $raw) as $part) { $kv = explode(':', $part, 2); if (count($kv) === 2) { $murphy_data[trim($kv[0])] = trim($kv[1]); } } } } $status_colors = [ 'ON PATROL' => ['#00cc44', '#002200'], 'GONE ROGUE' => ['#ff4444', '#330000'], 'SNIFFING' => ['#ffaa00', '#2a1a00'], 'NAPPING' => ['#5588ff', '#00123a'], 'MIA' => ['#ff4444', '#330000'], 'CLASSIFIED' => ['#888888', '#111111'], ]; $s_color = $status_colors[$murphy_data['status'] ?? ''] ?? ['#888', '#111']; ?>

MURPHY

ROAD CAPTAIN — 1% PATCH HOLDER

■ ON PATROL

KNOWN INTEL

Road Captain Murphy has been with the Paws of Mayhem since the early days. He commands the open road with reckless confidence and an unmatched nose for trouble. Do not attempt to rush him past an interesting scent. You will lose.

His last confirmed patrol covered three fire hydrants, one suspicious squirrel, and a full sweep of the park perimeter. He filed no report. He never does.

If you have intelligence on Murphy's whereabouts, report to Command.